“Participant 08” shares how, even though she has lost trust in her promiscuous husband, she has learned to live positively with HIV. They are estranged but not yet divorced.
I discovered I was HIV positive six years ago. I was numb with shock and disbelief. “WHY. . . . HOW. . . . COULD THIS BE HAPPENING TO ME.” After the shock and disbelief I started wondering if my two sons were also HIV positive. I got flash backs of the times they ha[d] been ill and tried to figure out if perhaps they were HIV negative. Routine tests proved that they are negative. “GLORY TO GOD.” The love and trust I had for my husband vanished overnight. His denial left a bitter taste in my mouth. We are estranged. He does not want a divorce yet. He refused to use protection during sex. I made a choice five years ago to move out with my children. . . . I got a job. . . . [Now I] lead a healthy and fulfilling life. . . . and have been on ARVs for five years now. I have forgiven my husband but I can never get back together with him as the love and trust is gone.
